Death

I recently read Neil Gaiman's "Absolute Sandman, Volume 2", which I procured from the local library. While the Sandman himself (the Lord of Dreams) is the focus of the story, I found myself rather more interested in his sister, Death (call me crazy, but I thought Sandman came off as a bit of a prick here and there.) Death is a rather interesting character. We all know what Death does, but Sandman put a different spin on Death that was radically different from the traditional skeleton in a black robe with a scythe.

I began to toy around with the idea of Death personified, and came up with some interesting results. Incidentally, shortly after reading Sandman, my fiance and I started watching a show called "Dead Like Me" on Netflix, in which the main character George dies and is brought back as a Grim Reaper. It's a really great show and is worth a rental if you like a good story with some comedy and drama mixed in.

I took a film course in college, the theme of which was Death and Dying in Film (I don't recall the exact title of the class.) We saw lots of movies which are now endeared to me. Harold and Maude, Death in Venice, and a few others. I seem to have developed something of a fascination with Death recently. Not in a morbid way, just a curiosity of sorts. It's funny what we find inspiring sometimes.

The Worst Thing

There's nothing worse than feeling like you're in a rut. The thing you've done for years that feels as natural as breathing, now takes a monumental effort. You do what you normally do to get your creative juices flowing. You watch your favorite movie (Lost in Translation) and you barely make it through half. You put on your favorite album (The Jesus & Mary Chain: Psychocandy, in 12'' Vinyl) and listen to one of your favorite songs: "Just Like Honey." It should move you. You should feel like everything will be all right, like you can get through anything, like every other time you've listened to the song. But you don't feel all right. All you feel is numb.

It's like grieving. Part of you is dead (at least temporarily,) and like death and grief, you go through distinct phases.

Phase 1: Denial. No, it can't be. It just can't. It came so easily before, it's just a little...hiccup.
Phase 2: Anger. Dammit all! Of all the fucking bad luck, why me? It's not fucking fair! You're right. It's not. Some people go their whole lives without facing what you're dealing with, and they will sell more books than you ever will. It's just not fair.
Phase 3: Bargaining. Well what if I allot myself a little time? Call in sick to work for a couple days, get things going again? That's what I need; time. If only I had more time, I could get things back on track.
Phase 4: Acceptance. When you've gone through all the shit and you come to the cold, hard truth of the matter. It hurts, more than almost anything else in your life. You've heard enough about it, heard lots of writers speak of it, but you've never experienced it before. Now you're in it, and it burns like hellfire.

Think of it this way: a star quarterback breaks their leg the night before a big game; a painter gets their hand crushed. It is the most awful feeling in the world, to know that it will take all you've got to now do what used to be the easiest thing in the world. You've got to soldier forth, rally all you've got and get back in the game (metaphorically speaking; playing football with a broken leg is just stupid.)

It'll take a mighty hard kick in the ass to get yourself going again, but it has to be done. And chances are. nobody can do it but you. You want to cry, and maybe you do. Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't. In the end, it won't change the truth at the heart of the matter: you have writer's block.

Another Piece of Good Advice

I read this many years ago, in a book on screenwriting. It's great advice though, and can apply to any piece of writing you wish to invest yourself in. The advice is this: treat your script (manuscript or whatever) as if it were your significant other. Now this doesn't mean literally; you needn't sleep with your script in your bed. What this means is that in order to condition yourself to make time for your script and to treat it like the fantastic work of literary greatness that it is, you need to personify it a bit.

Think of it this way: if you run out on a date, your date gets pissed and will treat you like crap for treating them like crap. The same will be true of your script. If you neglect it, you will find it very hard to come back to after a long hiatus. If you care for it, tend to it's needs (and believe me, they have needs) and work on it when you're supposed to, it will treat you much better.

I know this may sound a bit strange, but think of it this way: our writing is the embodiment of ourselves, of our wishes, hopes and dreams. If we don't care about them, why should anyone else? If we work hard to make them a reality, our efforts will be repaid many times over.

Think about that the next time you decide to blow off working on your project in favor of something else. While you needn't spend every waking moment with your project, it deserves some attention.

Why We Write

It can't have escaped any chronic writer that their motivation for writing is rather unique. There are a million different reasons people write. To make money, to persuade, to inform, to entertain, to terrorize, to enthrall, to tell the story that hasn't been written (and I don't believe for a second that every story has been told already.) One of the more interesting reasons I heard a friend and fellow writer give for his motivation for writing was this: "my head will explode if I don't." My sentiments were similar. I too have felt a strange compulsion to write and a curious sense of disappointment with myself when I don't.

My own motivation for writing is a bit metaphysical, but is one I'm sure many writers can relate to. As I continued to write more and more, I found that my head was becoming cluttered with hundreds of people: the characters I had been creating. Each one was, at least in some small way, a reflection of myself. Some looked like me, some acted like me, many of them talked like me (which, for those of you who know me, makes for a unique and..."colorful" character) but all of them had at least some small part of me in them.

On the days when I don't write, I can almost hear them talking to me, asking, begging, pleading to be let out. I don't do this by dressing up in a costume or pretending I'm somebody I'm not; I do this through my writing. When a character speaks on the page, that dialog is a reflection of what the character is saying in my head. Crazy no?

I believe that finding the motivation behind your drive to write is important. It's not of paramount importance, but knowing why you do something is almost as important as doing it. We all know that we'll go crazy or die if we don't eat or sleep. Me? I'll go crazy if I don't write. There are a myriad of people who make up the person I am. They are the mental manifestations of my hopes, wishes, dreams and nightmares, and they help make up the person I am as a whole. I can't ignore them, for to ignore them is to ignore myself.

This is why I write: to give voice to the parts of me that are not normally seen. Why do you write?

Some Good Advice

I've read a lot of writing books, some with advice more valuable than others. I have yet to read a book that I felt was a waste of my time. Some have simply been more valuable than others. Incidentally, one of the most valuable pieces of advice I ever gleaned from a book, I can't remember where I read it. Go figure.

The advice was simple: write every day. Even if you just sit in front of MS Word and type "I can't think of anything" a few hundred times, at least you're in the mindset to get things going. That's really important for all creative people, but especially important for professional writers. I've had more than a few days when I woke up and the last thing I felt like doing was writing. It takes a monumental effort on some days just to get your ass in gear and turn the computer (or typewriter) on and do anything even remotely productive with it.

It's equally difficult to find the time to write when you're writing both for business and pleasure. When you've spent a whole day working on a freelance project, one of the last things you'll feel like doing is writing some more, even if it is for yourself. But you've got to.

This is the best advice I can give to any aspiring writer: write ever single day. It doesn't matter what you write, so long as you sit down for at least an hour or two and write.